De Niro/Pacino Double Feature: Heat (1995) and Righteous Kill (2008)

Ok right off the bat let me say that I am in no way a big Robert De Niro or Al Pacino person. Prior to these movies I'd only seen Pacino in The Godfather, in which he was good though the movie overall didn't impress me. I'd seen De Niro in a handful of films, notably Taxi Driver, Brazil, Stardust, and Meet the Parents. Needless to say my schooling on these actors is nowhere near complete. I'm ok with this/I'll get to it eventually. Anyway.

As preparation for Righteous Kill this weekend, it was decided by various cohorts who are more into these guys than I am that it was time to watch the only other film in which De Niro and Pacino share scenes together: Heat. Ok so here's what we've learned: just because two really famous actors are in a movie together in "showdown" mode, that doesn't mean it's going to be well-written, well-directed, or at all a good movie. Also, make sure you check the running time of a movie no one in the room has seen before you watch it, especially if the drinks you had are making you a bit sleepy.

Heat is a very very long, cat-and-mouse film about really smart criminal Neil McCauley (Robert De Niro) going up against Lt Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) who's dedicated himself to taking him down. Both their professional and romantic lives are focused on, with a score of characters they interact with, most of whom are poorly developed. The plot boils down to Neil planning a very risky bank heist because one of his team members, Chris (Val Kilmer) is in a lot of gambling debt and on the verge of losing his wife (Ashley Judd). Vincent obsesses over Neil as the two circle and trick and narrowly miss each other. However this alienates his wife (Diane Venora) and depressed step daughter (Natalie Portman), causing (oh no) Problems! Also Neil romances a lady (Am Brenneman). That summary sounded a lot more interesting than the film actually was. It was very dragged out, and the characters were either so despicable and/or flat that I just didn't care what happened to them. I found myself rooting for Neal just because I like Robert De Niro better and because Al Pacino's haircut was so dumb. You spend the whole time waiting for the two scenes they share together, and even that isn't much of a payout. It's hailed by a lot of people so maybe I missed something, but I would advise only hardcore fans to watch this movie.

2/5

Now, on to more recent fare: Righteous Kill. It was so awful! This coming from a person who tends to like (or at least appreciate) in some way most movies I see all the way through. It was predictable and dull, with not enough action and lackluster performances. From the trailer, a so-bad-it's-funny kind of film could have been hoped for, or a more self-aware kind of cop movie. Nope. I don't even feel like saying anymore about it. It was just not worth it anyway, unless your greatest fantasy is to see Robert De Niro and Al Pacino talk boringly to one another and crack some really bad "my god we are so funny" jokes. *SPOILER ALERT* At one point De Niro is kneeling over Pacino, who is lying on the floor. Closest thing you get to them breaking the sexual tension that's built up over all these years.

1/5