Mallrats (1995)

Mallrats is the main movie that always brings my oldest friend and I together. So after a fancy dinner date we retired to her boyfriend's house to take advantage of his big TV! Kevin Smith's second film, Mallrats follows slacker best friends TS Quint (Jeremy London) and Brodie (Jason Lee) on an adventurous day in their favourite hangout, the mall. In the morning Brodie's girlfriend Rene (Shannon Doherty) breaks up with him because he'd rather play video games than be with her and, though he still lives with her, won't introduce him to his mother. Quint's girlfriend Brandi (Claire Forlani) breaks up with him because he can't deal with the fact that she has to be on her father's dating game show because the original contestant died. So now the day finds everyone at the mall, with Rene on a date with asshole/pseudo gentleman Shannon (Ben Affleck), Brandi and her dad waiting for a stage to be erected to film the show, and the guys walking around aimlessly talking about sex and comic books while trying to figure out a way to get their girlfriends back.

They commission resident mischief makers Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) to destroy the stage, resulting in various failed elaborate plans and run-ins with security. The guys run into lots of other mall mainstays, including the adorable and foul-mouthed Gwen (Joey Lauren Adams), 15-year-old sex researcher Tricia (Renee Humphrey), and William (Ethan Suplee), who's been searching for the sailboat in a Magic Eye puzzle. So now Brodie has to prove to Rene that Shannon is a dick and he cares for her while Quint has to convince Brandi that their relationship is strong enough to withstand her dad trying to break them up. It's all quite inspiring. Stan Lee even shows up to give a pep talk!

This movie is pretty rad, all around. It's got Jason Lee quipping up a storm, Kevin Smith using the force, Jeremy London attempting to act, and Shannon Doherty attempting to not be a complete bitch. It has Smith's usual male-centricity: the two main guys are pretty much clueless egotistical jerks, so their girlfriends were right to dump them, yet here I, the viewer, sit rooting for them to all get back together again. Not that I mind. There's tons of fun, geeky dialogue and a nice, tight pace considering the relatively simple story. It's probably my favourite Kevin Smith movie, actually. It's more exciting than Clerks and has less Ben Affleck than Chasing Amy. And Brodie is probably one of my favourite comedic screen characters in general. It's quotable almost to a fault, so that you have to watch it a large number of times to catch everything, and then several more so you can memorize it and quote it to impress everyone you meet.

Oh also something odd that we noticed: Shannon Doherty changes clothes like five times in this movie, and we were all "WTF? She never leaves the mall!". But then IMDb told me this: "While shopping, Rene Mosier (Shannon Doherty) is seen wearing at least three different outfits. Doherty had a clause in her contract that she could keep everything her character wore, so came up with the plan that her character should wear everything she bought on her shopping trip." Which is like, one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Anyway. Awesome, hilarious movie. Watch it already.

4.5/5

"Build Me Up Buttercup"- The Goops