Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Continuing with my Star Wars trilogy nostalgic/homesick viewing, we have The Empire Strikes Back, considered by many to be the best of the series. I usually agree, but Return of the Jedi often sneaks up to the number one spot. It concerns the further trials of Luke, Leia, and Han but this time the story is more complex and interesting. The Rebels have been operating out of the ice planet Hoth (you know, the one in the new Star Trek movie?), but Han has to go because he's got a price on his head for his debts to crime lord Jabba the Hutt. Before he's able to leave, the base is attacked by super imposing Imperial Walkers. It is rad. But also, sad. Some people die, naturally our heroes escape. Luke heads off on his own with R2 to find Yoda (voiced by Frank Oz), the last Jedi Master, so he can begin training as a Jedi. Leia makes it off on Han's ship with Chewbacca and C-3PO. The sexual tension is the main focus of the journey.

After experiencing engine damage and running into a huge Imperial ship, they make it to Cloud City, mayored by the pornographically-mustachioed Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), an old frenemy of Han's. Meanwhile Luke spends most of the movie hanging out on Dagobah with Yoda, a crotchety and strangely aggressive green troll-like creature with Force powers and wisdom to spare. When he senses Leia and Han are in trouble in Cloud City, he rushes to help them even though he hasn't completed his training. Of course it's all a trap! Darth Vader wants to get his hands on Luke! There's a big lightsaber fight, some cocky guy gets frozen in carbonite, and some whiny guy finds out his dad is totally evil. This is all common knowledge by now right? I'm not breaking any hearts with poorly-disguised spoilers?

When I was kid this movie fascinated me for one big reason: the bad guys win in the end. Yeah, Luke and Leia get away, but Han's shipped off to Jabba and Luke's lost a hand and the Empire is not left any weaker. I know it's not really "the end" of the story as a whole, but to me the idea of a movie in which good did not triumph over evil was so interesting and different. Now of course I understand that there are lots of stories with bad guys winning, but it's still a cool thing. The overall plot of this is smarter than the first film. Nothing is black and white, no character wholly decent or despicable. Obviously it's not the most complex character study or twisty-turny thriller, but it's a good example of well-plotted and accessible science fiction. My main issue is that Luke seems to spend an eternity on Dagobah. I understand it's necessary for his character to grow and use the force or whatever but he literally spends like two thirds of the movie hopping around a swamp complaining about how hard it is to lift stuff with his mind. Boring.

Otherwise, Empire has some pretty sweet moments. You've got the beautiful Cloud City, a smooth new character in Lando, the classic "I love you!" "I know." moment, Imperial Walkers stomping all over Hoth, the "just how incestuous was that?" kiss, carbonite freezing, Luke giving Yoda piggyback rides, and of course, one of the best reveals of any movie ever at the end of the Vader/Luke battle (which, when I hear the dialogue, never ceases to remind me of this). Just cool stuff happening all over the place. Compared to the first one, the pacing is better, the characters more well-rounded, and the use of the force more prevalent. Love it. Good times all around, and perfectly setting everything up for the final installment, in which much ass is kicked, and fuzzy animals run rampant.

4.5/5

Haha this is pretty great. If only it would happen in real life.