Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

After hearing countless adulations for Crank 2 from this guy, I was plopped down to watch- nay, experience- it for myself. On Blu-ray, no less! So, I haven't seen the first one but apparently all I needed to know was that chronic bad boy assassin Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) has a super-powered heart (as proven by all his adrenaline-fueled stunts) and is about to hit the streets of LA after falling from a helicopter. The sequel opens with Chelios hitting the ground, supposedly dying, but then awaking in some Asian medical den with a plastic artificial heart. The aging head of a Chinese crime syndicate wants the "Chelios heart" to give himself new vitality. Chelios believes asshole criminal Johnny Vang (Art Hsu) is transporting the heart, and busts out of his makeshift operating room to track him down.

But UH OH the battery on his artificial heart is running low! It's only meant to be temporary and he's not supposed to exert himself! So he needs to constantly electrocute himself to keep it pumping! While searching for his heart and people on whom to exact revenge, he gets help from clingy prostitute Ria (Bai Ling), stripper girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), "body-Tourettes"- afflicted Venus (Efren Ramirez), and underground doctor/best buddy Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam). Mostly, he fights a lot of people and gets electricity from unlikely sources while various women around him are scantily clothed.

Topless Robot summed this up as "pretty much the ultimate action movie parody and action movie all at the same time", and I think that's not too far from the truth. It's ridiculously over the top in its premise, characters, plot, fighting, and sex scenes. It's gratuitous to the point of hilarity. But it's still a thrilling action movie, with exciting battles and impressive stuntwork. It's a nice blend of genre parody and genre tribute, in the vein of Shaun of the Dead. I guess the main question I have is: Was it intentional? Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have this really silly story, mixed in lots of unnecessary nudity and cussing, but maybe that's just what they like to have in movies. I'm not sure. But it makes me feel better (and enjoy the movie more) if I view all of those weird embellishments as intentional parody.

Aside from queries about its intentions, Crank 2 is very funny by itself. There are a lot of video game references and unbelievably silly moments. I really dug the unexpected cut to a monster movie-type fight scene between Chelios and Johnny Vang. Also I liked when painful things involving cars happened to Bai Ling and Corey Haim (yes, he's in this movie). There were some parts I thought too hard about, and this is a movie which you definitely shouldn't be overthinking, so I would advise to keep that in mind during your viewing. If successful, you're sure to find Crank 2 an enjoyable, ridiculous, hilarious, and bizarre action film. Woooo.

4/5