Cleopatra Jones (1973)

It's depressing to think of how long this dvd had been sitting in my house, unwatched. The thing about getting a work-at-home job for supplemental income is that most of your at-home time is spent working. Ah well. To celebrate my penultimate chapter proofread, I took a break for Cleopatra Jones, a badass government agent played by the super-tall, super-stylish Tamara Dobson. She's stationed in Turkey overseeing the burning of poppy fields to deter the heroin trade flowing into the US, but is called back to Los Angeles when her halfway house charity is the subject of a violent police raid. She makes it her mission to find out what sleazy drug dealers are setting up her friends so she can take them down with a mini machine-gun and some well-placed high kicks, all while rocking some seriously wild, complicated outfits.

Isn't it nice to see a hip lady who is taller than most of the men around her but can still rock some platform shoes? And one who is a skilled fighter but doesn't have to strip down to do it? And one who isn't working her way through a law-enforcement glass ceiling but already floating high above it with the respect she deserves? The answer to all of these questions is yes, yes it is. While lacking the extreme charisma of her contemporary Pam Grier, Dobson is a cool and collected heroine with a cute smile and a rockin' fro. She oozes confidence and carries the film well, despite being a bit flat in her delivery. And the amount of fur she wears in a locale with numerous palm trees is hilarious to me. Her villainous counterpart played by Shelley Winters is a nice foil, taking a page out of the Tura Satana book and shouting every single line, an affectation I love. I didn't like the few fat jokes against her, though.

Cleopatra Jones isn't exactly genius filmmaking, but it's a pretty funky way to spend 89 minutes. There's a nice soundtrack, a lot of costume changes, and a whole lot of martial arts. I loved the appearance from Antonio Fargas, but my absolute favorite non-Cleo characters were Matthew and Melvin Johnson, two butt-kicking brothers with adorable dialogue to match, and I kind of wish they had their own movie. On the downside, the pacing does drag at parts, and the story doesn't always make sense. But honestly? Who cares? This movie is fun!

4/5

Pair This Movie With: As easy as it would be to just say Foxy Brown or another female-led blaxploitation movie, I'm going with Barbarella, a government agent who changes outfits even more often than Cleo! Plus she's in space!

My original art for this film is for sale as a delightful print (if I do say so myself).