Black Belt Jones (1974)

This is probably the best spontaneous netflix instant pick we've had so far. Bruce Lee pupil Jim Kelly stars as the titular Black Belt Jones (or "Belt" for short), a badass motherfucker with mad martial arts skills and no discernible means of employment besides watching women on trampolines. When Pop Byrd (Scatman Crothers), an aging gambler who runs a karate center for black youth of the area, is killed because the mafia wants his building, Belt steps in to bring the bad guys to justice. Pop's estranged daughter Sydney (Gloria Hendry), who packs some ass-kicking skills of her own, arrives to claim ownership of the dojo, and the two team up to take down both the mafia boss and his drug-dealing lackey Pinky (a ferociously bearded Malik Carter). There are a lot of high kicks, high-concept schemes, Italian stereotypes, and gunfights, all set to a killer soundtrack.

Admittedly I'm still woefully undereducated in blaxploitation, but this is definitely the best one I've seen so far. It's funny, fast-paced, straightforward, and features no abuse towards women. In fact, Sydney is a totally awesome independent lady with an adorable dimpled chin and a take-no-shit attitude. Sure, she and Belt eventually get it on, but only because she says so. Plus Belt is amazing- Jim Kelly is so tall and well-dressed and good at fighting, plus he makes goofy Three Stooges sounds when he kicks. He doesn't really get any sex scenes though. It's all sadly chaste.

I was a little disappointed that Sydney didn't get to fight more (she's more on the sidelines in the final battle, sweeping up the felled henchmen), but considering his name is the title, I won't begrudge Black Belt Jones for getting in most of the good battles. There's a cool fight scene with lights flashing on and off, a gunfight car chase, plus a soap-sud-filled climax. And a portable trampoline! I didn't even know those existed!

This movie is just entertaining and fun, plain and simple. It's got something for everybody! Just watch the credits sequence below (featuring a song I've been dancing around to for a week), and tell me this isn't obviously the best movie ever. I DARE YOU.



4.5/5

Pair This Movie With: Ummm anything awesome? Cleopatra Jones would be another great martial arts/blaxploitation pairing with a tall person. Or of course, there's always the other Robert Clouse movie I've seen. GYMKATA!